Strategies to Stay Calm After a Loss
A visual guide based on psychology and neuroscience to regain control.
Loss: A Universal Trigger
Loss events are one of the main triggers for anxiety and emotional dysregulation globally. No matter the source (personal, financial, professional), your brain interprets it as a real threat.
Less Impulsivity
According to the APA, waiting just 48 hours after a loss before making important decisions can reduce impulsivity by 40%.
Visualization of the potential reduction in impulsivity by waiting 48 hours.
What Happens in Your Brain? The Stress Cascade
Rational Brain Shuts Down
The prefrontal cortex (planning, decision-making) decreases its activity. It’s hard to think clearly.
Emotion Is Triggered
The amygdala (fear center) becomes overactive, magnifying threats and problems.
Reality Is Altered
The perception of time and reality can change, leading to feelings of “unreality” or disconnection.
The Bias That Worsens Pain: Loss Aversion
According to economist Daniel Kahneman, the pain of a loss weighs almost twice as heavily emotionally as the joy of an equivalent gain. This explains why catastrophic thinking is so intense.
Comparison of the emotional impact of gaining vs. losing the same amount.
Practical Strategies for Immediate Calm
Stop Catastrophic Thinking
80% of catastrophic thoughts never come true. Naming your emotion (“I am anxious”) can reduce its intensity by up to 30% (UCLA).
Probability of Occurrence
Intensity Reduction by Naming
Your Calm Toolkit: First Aid Kit
5 minutes of diaphragmatic breathing can reduce cortisol (stress hormone) by up to 20%.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
- 5️⃣Notice 5 things you can SEE.
- 4️⃣Feel 4 things you can TOUCH.
- 3️⃣Listen to 3 things you can HEAR.
- 2️⃣Smell 2 things you can SMELL.
- 1️⃣Taste 1 thing you can TASTE.
Regaining Clarity: How to Make Decisions
The 10-10-10 Rule
To avoid impulsive decisions, analyze the impact of your choice in three time frames. Ask yourself:
How will I feel about this in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about this in 10 days?
How will I feel about this in 10 months?
The Control Filter
Write down your worries and sort them into three columns to focus your energy correctly.
1. What I CAN CONTROL
My actions, my words, my effort, my self-care.
2. What I CAN INFLUENCE
Others’ opinions (a little), the mood of a meeting, asking for help.
3. What I MUST LET GO
The past, others’ actions, the global economy, the final outcome.
Rebuilding: The Kintsugi Principle
Rebuilding is not about going back to who you were; it’s about becoming someone stronger and more aware. Resilience is built by maintaining minimal routines, asking for support, and interpreting loss as a turning point, not an end.
“When a piece of pottery breaks, Japanese artisans repair it with gold, highlighting the scars as part of its history. Don’t hide what hurt you; transform it into a source of strength.”
Actionable Tip: Make a list of 3 skills or strengths you developed thanks to past losses. This reinforces your sense of progress and capability.